Autumn Equinox – Sept. 23.
Resistance is Futile.
May this Autumn Equinox highlight your own transition, from where you are now, to where you want to be. Nature moves from one season to the next without resistance. Not always without incident: storms, fires, lightning strikes and such. But the sun and the moon come out again and the days move on in to the next phase.
We humans however, have a habit of resisting “what is”. Just like the seasons WILL change, we WILL have difficulties. It’s part of life. No one escapes difficulties. It’s how we learn about our strengths and weaknesses, how we learn things like patience, courage, tenacity, resilience. But we resist change and want to hurry up and get over the hard stuff, the transitions. It’s become very popular in an over-worked, under-rested, less playful society to throw diffuculties and transitions into the STRESS category. That way we can justify how we feel: fatigued, irritated, sleepless, anxious, frustrated, angry, just to mention a few.
The pain we suffer comes not so much from the difficulties or circumstances, but from our resistance to inevitable life events that happen to be difficult or just plain lousy. Resistance is futile. Life simply isn’t fair sometimes. Young, slow animals get eaten by fast, hungry ones. It’s not a question of fairness, but its how life works.
We can lessen our pain by saying YES to what is. Right now, we’re having a hell of a time trying to make a baby. It’s unfair. It can be very expensive. It sucks.
How can we make it worse?
– Focus on what you don’t have ALL THE TIME
– Work long hours so that you distract yourself from it
– Eat sugar because it makes you feel better now
– Drink wine every night so that you don’t have to feel your pain
– Isolate yourself from your friends (actually, sometimes this helps)
– Talk endlessly to your spouse about it
– Never talk to anyone else about it
– Worry endlessly about your hormone levels
But if we can say yes, this is what’s happening to us/me, then we can start to be less rigid, less contracted, less angry. What’s called for in difficult situations is perspective, curiosity, tenacity and self-compassion. We definitely need to have our storms: get angry, feel frustrated, be really outraged! And then like Mother Nature, feel the sun on our faces, go for walks, look at the moon, plunge yourself into activities that nurture your body and soul. And make a plan. This is where we are now. This is what we’re going to do to get to where we want to be.
It’s very hard to do this by yourself. Even with your spouse. It helps to talk with others who are experiencing this difficulty. Hear what they have learned. How did they handle this or that. What have they tried. What did they find that is helpful. Can you meet me for lunch. Will you go for a walk with me.
You will get through this and move on to the next phase. The things that you learn now in this difficulty, if you are open, will serve you as a parent, spouse, sister, daughter or friend. Resistance and rigidity in body or mind is not helpful. Saying yes, to where you are right now creates an opening to greater possibilities. Make a conscious intention to learn as much as you can about yourself, as you transition to the next phase.
Join your companions on Fertility Road, Saturday October 10, 9:30 – Noon. We are very good traveling companions.