On the last Mother’s Day before I became a mom, I remember attending services at the Washington National Cathedral and weeping silently for what my heart longed for but I did not have. On this coming Mother’s Day, I will celebrate the fact that I am one of three special mothers to my son: his birth mom who brought him into this world, his foster mom who loved him as her own and cared for him during the first 10 months of his life, and me—the adoptive mom to this perfect child born in my heart.
It’s funny how life’s journey takes you to places you could never have imagined—situations you once feared—but resolutions that could not be more miraculous. To all those going through difficult conception or family building on this Mother’s Day, I would urge you, first, to remember that today is like any other day, just another day in the journey of life. Second, remember that difficult conception is a phase in life that passes like all other phases, and one day it will be a distant memory. Third, recognize and acknowledge that this time is really tough—maybe tougher than anything you may have gone through before, and cut yourself a break. Finally, stay true to the desires of your heart, keep an open mind, and don’t give up.
This process will make you a deeper, more compassionate and more understanding human being. And one day, on the other side, you will appreciate Mother’s Day in a way that others who have not gone through this cannot. You will not take for granted what you have been given and what you fought for; your heart will be more full because of this journey. A.M.