We have a tendency to reduce our entire life to this one, current difficulty. Though it may be enormous, it is not who or what you are. It is a circumstance that you will move through, somehow. You get to choose if it will consume you and everything in its path, or if you will move through it with open eyes and heart. With Intention, you can begin again every day, every moment if you like, to open yourself to the mystery that life is. Even more so, in the midst of this incredible difficulty.
We hold very, very tightly to what we want, afraid that if we let go it will slip away. But the clenching and forcing we do around it serve to make us more contracted, aggressive and myopic. The forcing and pushing and relentlessness is almost a violence.
It is not a sad or a bad thing that brought us all together, but a longing, a longing for a big, full life that includes the family that you envision.
When you “soften” around your desire, not let it go, but soften and loosen your grip, you can open to the mystery of its unfolding.
How do I do this?
Let your personal growth become part of your intention to have your family. Let your intention include that you:
_Grow and learn on purpose from this circumstance
_Awaken to the rest of your life, to what you hold dear, to what gives you joy, to what is true and meaningful
_Reconnect to yourself intimately, explore your inner landscapes with tender regard
_Quiet contemplation on your intention or meditation, every day, if only for a few moments
_Breathe deeply, frequently
_Be mindful of what you’re giving your energy to (what you think, say and do)
_Be kind to yourself (non-judgmental, non-violent)
_Nourish your spirit by doing things that give you joy
For Longing, by John O’Donohue
Blessed be the longing that brought you here
And quickens your soul with wonder.
May you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire
That disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.
May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease
To discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.
May the forms of your belonging – in love, creativity and friendship
be equal to the grandeur and the call of your soul.
May the one you long for long for you.
May your dreams gradually reveal the destination of your desire.
May a secret Providence guide your thought and nurture your feeling.
May your mind inhabit your life with the sureness with which your body inhabits the world.
May your heart never be haunted by ghost-structures of old damage.
May you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.
May you know the urgency with which God longs for you.