There is no shortage of unexpected twists and turns on Fertility Road. No one ever really expects to be here. There is no map. Everyone encounters different obstacles at different times along the way. One thing we know for sure, is that the holiday season has more landslides, flash floods and earth tremors than the rest of the year, for those on Fertility Road. Since we KNOW this, we can prepare.
For women and couples trying to conceive, the holidays are anything but typical. November and December are grand when life is on the upswing. But difficult conception adds a level of emotional confusion that can complicate and create additional burdens that can totally hijack your holidays.
What is most important to you? Who do you want to be with? Who do you prefer NOT to be with? How do you want to feel? What would you like to say to yourself after the holidays are over?
Consider that you can…
- Choose exactly who you want to be with during the holidays
- Take a trip to the Carribbean this year, or West Virginia or…
- Decide now, which gatherings you will or will not attend
- Put healthy boundaries around your gift giving
- Give to yourself and not feel selfish (what? Staying home is an option? YES!)
- Allow yourself to feel sad if that’s how you feel
- Party like its 1999
You are an adult. You get to decide. It’s a bit easier when you are single. Working it out with your partner may be more challenging, but it can also deepen your relationship, sharing honestly how you feel and what you want.
A little time, imagination, clear intention and a calendar are the tools that you need. Honest reflection and desire are the drivers.
What needs to happen for your upcoming cycle or phase of fertility? Put that in your calendar AND expect it to change. We need flexibility for this to work.
Set aside some quiet time to reflect on and assess your emotional and energetic capacity.
Review the list and questions above. Now, imagine the next two months working out exactly as you would like. Perfection! Set the bar high! Because if you start with only three quarters of what you want, you may end up with only 50% of what you really want. Go big!
Have your partner do the same. Then let the games begin, negotiations actually. Share honestly, LISTEN, ask questions, give and take. When this is done lovingly, you both win.
Set your compass in the direction of peacefulness, connecting with chosen friends, travel, charity, family or not, food choices, sensible spending (if that’s your choice), meaningful celebration, spiritual experience, even party like crazy if that’s what you want. The point is to choose and plan accordingly.
Overscheduling this time of year happens easily when you don’t think about what you do and do not want. Not a good thing when you are moving through a fertility cycle.
Join us at Fertility Road this Sunday. Attendees will receive a Holiday Intentions guide to help you plan and enjoy your holidays. It helps to be with others who understand. Lots of good ideas get tossed around here. Join us!