Mysteriously effective ritual/exercise is below if you’d like to skip to it.
I like to imagine that I have time for everything: friends, study, work, play, exercise, meditation, travel, hikes in the woods, dancing, cooking, family, reading, writing, home projects… And so, I do. It’s a full life, as I imagine. I am doing all these things. Sometimes dancing takes a back seat to reading, work and cooking. Sometimes I exercise less and spend more time with friends. It’s always shifting, always changing. That’s life. It’s all good.
I try not to use the words “busy” or “crazy-busy” or “so stressed”. The language we use to describe our lives reinforces it. The sense or feeling of being stressed or crazy-busy or even bored, is reinforced, by how we describe it. This is how we do it…
First (in our own heads): we repeat or ruminate over things, ad nauseum, right? What do you spend your timing thinking about? Are you imagining what a fine day you’re having or going to have? How well your meetings are going to go? How you’re looking forward to making something happen on a certain project? Or a new recipe you’d like to try? Or are you thinking about how you dislike your current project or a person you have to work with. Perhaps feeling anxious about whether your period is coming or not. Or what you wish you’d said when asked, when are you going to start a family?
Second (how we describe it to others): Perhaps you get treated unjustly somehow, on the drive to work, someone cuts you off or you see something really stupid that you can’t let go. Or you just have so much to do and so little time. We can sometimes keep the adrenaline pumping just by repeating to others what happened or how crazy busy you are that you can’t even break for lunch.
Third (how we move through our days): how we spend our energy. Do you ever notice walking real fast when you’re not really in a hurry? Or driving as if being “on time” is more important than arriving safely? Or talking as if you only have 15 seconds to all get your words out?
Perhaps this isn’t you. This may seem extreme. You may be lower on the continuum. Or higher.
The pace at which we live, physically, emotionally and mentally, keeps adrenaline and cortisol at unhealthy levels that make them less effective AND may be causing your reproductive hormones to become unbalanced.
What do you do about it? You practice something different. You imagine that you’re already living a peaceful, happy, full life. What do you want for yourself this year? Better health, pregnancy, more intimate relationships, more play time, travel, higher salary, a sense of peacefulness? Give this a try…
There is a mysteriously effective ritual/exercise that a coach introduced to me years ago. You begin by writing: It’s January 1, 2019 and Oh what a year I’ve had! Then you write about all the extraordinary things that happened for you in 2018! as if it has all already happened! You infuse both your imagination AND emotions as you write: not only what happened, but how it felt. For me, it has served as a compass, guiding my daily decisions and where I chose to focus my energy.
If you can not imagine it, how can you make it happen? I encourage you to give this a shot. Include any aspects of your life that you want: professional, relationships, spiritual, physical health, play, financial, education, home… Revisit your Look Back at 2018 at least every month. Make any changes that you like. It’s a living document, your compass for the year. Include the impossible. See what happens…
“It’s a new day. It’s a new dawn. It’s a new life. And I’m feeling good.”
-Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse
performed by Nina Simone here
What do you imagine for yourself?