Did you know that you can set your internal compass for the upcoming Holy Days? If you make a plan for joy, fun, peacefulness, silliness, unbridled extasy, quiet nights, meaningful rituals… whatever it is you’d like for your holidays to be, it’s more likely to happen that way, if you actually plan it…

First, imagine how you want them to be. How do you want to move through your days? With joy, some peacefulness, a skip in your step, or invisibly moving through work and stores, skipping the parties you don’t really want to attend anyway…

If you know it’s going to be intense and busy, for whatever reasons, you may as well say yes to it. We can’t control outside factors in many cases. But we can choose how we want to be, how we want to live, in spite of what comes our way. This is as true for the holidays as it is any other time.

Have your sweetheart imagine it too. If you’re single, it’s a little easier, you can skip the negotiating. After you’ve both imagined the best possible holidays you possibly can, sit down together with your calendars for November and December. There are invariably the Must Do’s. Put them in the calendar. There are the events that you really want to do individually or even feel obligated to do. Work or family events can feel that way. How important is it, why is it important to you, will your holiday not be complete without it? Negotiate. Is there wiggle room? Can you do this and that? or must you choose one or the other? Come to terms with those events. Put them in your calendar. Now, what do you have left? Options. The option to say yes or no to other events and invitations. Your have set your priorities. The rest is optional.

Next, plan your quiet or alone-together nights or days, just as you would the parties. Really, really, really try to keep these special times that you plan together. This quality time can make all the difference, to your holidays and to your relationship.

You are more likely to create the holidays that you want if you imagine them, plan them, and take specific action to make it happen.

As with any good plan, there needs to be room for flexibility and of course, the unexpected. We can always count on that.

I wish you peacefulness, this holiday season, and always!