You’ve decided (or you are called) to be a mother. If you’re reading this, there have already been difficulties, obstacles, challenges… Now, here you are. It’s summer, play time. But conceiving is serious business. You have to stay in and study while all your friends are at the pool. Only, you’re not a child and the pool is probably the last thing on your mind. So, what will you do? to further your cause, to make progress, to be more fertile, to conceive your child?
Go out and play.
It almost doesn’t even matter where you are in “the process”: in the middle of a cycle, on BCPs, pre-ovulation, post-ovulation, administering injections, between retrieval and transfer, post IUI, post IVF… The only phase I can think of right now, that would preclude play, is the grieving of a loss. Grief has a way of consuming all of one’s mental, physical and emotional energy (mind/body/spirit). It leaves no room or energy for play. At least, not in the thick of it.
Why go out and play?
Play provides some balance in a world that demands so much work.
We get a break from being serious.
If you invent a game, you get to make up the rules.
You can change the rules.
Play is engaging of all your faculties: mind, body and spirit.
You can invite friends to play with you. Or you can play alone.
Winning is fun! Losing can be fun too, IF you’ve chosen your playmates carefully.
It can get you outside where the sky is the limit. Problems can feel much smaller when the container is as big as the outdoors.
Play can involve physical activity, though that’s not a requirement.
Play helps you to blow off steam, exorcize your demons, reduce your stress.
I came across a VERY interesting article in Psychology Today titled, The Value of Play (The-value-play-i-the-definition-play-provides-clues-its-purposes). Take a look at the characteristics of play to see how these could inform and influence non-play situations.
(1) Play is self-chosen and self-directed;
(2) Play is activity in which means are more valued than ends;
(3) Play has structure, or rules, which are not dictated by physical necessity but emanate from the minds of the players;
(4) Play is imaginative, non-literal, mentally removed in some way from “real” or “serious” life; and
(5) Play involves an active, alert, but non-stressed frame of mind.
The article says that these characteristics have to do with the motivation or attitude that the person brings to the activity. Contrast these characteristics with “waiting”. I find that many women in the throes of infertility are in wait mode. While waiting may sometimes be necessary, the concept and attitude of waiting weighs heavily as an inconvenience, a hardship, an undesired imposition. Play is chosen, active, mindful, imaginative and my favorite, involves an active, alert, non-stressed frame of mind.
Don’t we all need this?
Can you imagine bringing these qualities to your fertility journey? Do imagine it. Play with it. Consider the possibilities. What do you consider play? What comes easily to you?
Do give it some thought. We can explore this topic more at the Fertility Road gathering THIS THURSDAY. We meet the 2nd Thursday of every month. Join us this week:
Thursday July 12
6:30 – 9:00 PM
at Heal from Within
No need to register. You can find more information at: Heal-from-Within.com/FertilityRoad or call 202-244-2289. ($10 fee).