Finally, a young woman approached who was not dressed in black. She had a vessel on her shoulder, and her head was covered by a veil, but her face was uncovered. The boy approached her to ask about the alchemist. At that moment, it seemed to him that time stood still, and the Soul of the World surged within hm. When he looked into her dark eyes, and saw that her lips were poised between a laugh and silence, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke-the language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love. Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert. from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
“Older than humanity, more ancient than the desert.” It resonates and bears repeating.
You know this, but we all need reminders from time to time. The search for your child and the challenges and obstacles you face, are a labor of love. What other possible motivation could there be to putting yourself through so much. It’s been said that the labor of childbirth is preparation for the pain that one endures as a mother, as a parent. But for those experiencing difficult conception, childbirth would be a welcome relief to the pain of disappointment, dashed hopes and losses.
As I and other guides that you meet along the way will remind you, there is much more to this journey than the gold (child) you seek. What began as Santiego’s quest for worldly riches in The Alchemist, turned into a discovery of the treasures within. The people he met, lessons learned, tears shed, laughter shared and wisdom gained.
It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day tactics of taking and recording temperature and ovulatory symptoms, planning sex at the “peak” times (who knew it would come to that?), research on the internet, books, choosing a doctor and/or acupuncturist, figuring out insurance coverage or other ways to pay for medical interventions and on and on… All while you’re working, commuting, figuring out social events (to go, or not to go, that is the question), who to tell, what to tell, keeping your marriage on track…
This is how the fertility journey gets to be so consuming. All the must do’s and have to’s and feel like you need to’s. It’s a lot to manage. It’s also a lot of noise, energetic noise that takes up space and fills your schedule and life. Ever notice how pleasantly quiet it gets when the air conditioner fan shuts off? Or if you’re near a noisy construction site, how you didn’t realize how loud it was until it stopped? How sweet the stillness.
Alchemy happens in stillness. It creates space, gives you room to ponder, to listen to your heart. When you bring the Alchemy of Conception to the process, it can pave the way to the family you imagine. The heart’s message can be so subtle, so gentle, that you can’t hear it unless you’re very, very still.
It takes a little guidance, a little practice, the cultivation of certain skills. Little changes, little awakenings. And the journey you’re already on becomes an eye opening experience. You may see and do the some of the same things, but with new eyes as Marcel Proust says, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”
We’ll be starting the Fertile Mind – Fertile Body Workshop on September 12, 2012. Come join others in discovering how to open up to new possibilities, exploring inner landscapes while tending to your mind, your health and your life, preparing your mind and body for conception and parenthood.
The fertility journey does not have to be full of road blocks, problems and difficulties. As Santiago discovered, there are wonderful people, lessons to be learned, tears, laughter, wisdom and a new way to experience your quest for a child.